One-liner
Why shouldn't you fart in an elevator? It's wrong on so many levels.
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Fart humour.
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One-liner
Why did everyone notice Bill Gates fart in the Apple store? Because they didn't have any Windows.
School
Frank farted in class and got sent outside. Now those poor kids are stuck smelling it while he enjoys the fresh air.
One-liner
A fart is just your insides applauding.
One-liner
What do you get from a bean and onion casserole? Tear gas.
Office
I cleared the meeting room in record time. No slides required.
Animal
Did you hear about the blind, heartbroken skunk? She fell in love with a fart.
One-liner
What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tooter.
Animal
What do you call a T. rex fart? A blast from the past.
Dad
Farts are like opinions: I can usually tell when someone else's is bad.
One-liner
I'm not gassy, I'm just fluent in trombone.
School
The teacher asked who farted. I said it was a group project.
One-liner
Why won't skeletons fart in public? They don't have the guts.
Riddle
What do you call a fairy with stomach issues? Stinkerbell.
Kids
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
Riddle
Why must you always watch out for ninja farts? They're silent — but deadly.
Riddle
What's invisible and smells of carrots? A bunny fart.
Riddle
What's invisible and smells like earthworms? A bird's fart.
Riddle
What's invisible and smells of rotten grass? A goat's fart.
Riddle
What's a fart's favourite party game? Hide and squeak.
Riddle
What do you call a snowman who's passing gas? A snowblower.
Riddle
What do you call a musical fart? A toot suite.
Riddle
How do farts stay in such good shape? Core exercises.
Riddle
What gaseous event are surfers most scared of? A shart attack.
Riddle
Why did the balloon laugh at the fart joke? It was full of hot air.
Animal
Why was the cow embarrassed? It let out a dairy-air.
Animal
How does a duck fart? With its ass-quack.
Animal
What do you call a cat that loves refried beans? Puss 'n' Toots.
Animal
Why does Piglet smell faintly of farts? Because he plays with Pooh.
Animal
How can you tell a moth has just farted? It flies in a perfectly straight line.
Animal
Why did the chicken cross the road in such a hurry? The chicken next to her had just farted.
One-liner
My doctor said to avoid stress. So I let it all out.
One-liner
Why don't farts ever do well in school? They get expelled.
One-liner
What's the first rule of scuba diving? Don't fart in your wetsuit.
One-liner
What do you call a boxer with terrible gas? Gaseous Clay.
One-liner
Why is it a bad idea to fart in church? You'll just have to sit in your own pew.
One-liner
What do you call a fart from a butt that's fallen asleep? A snore.
One-liner
Why did the fart get promoted so fast? It always made an impact.
One-liner
Why don't farts ever argue? They prefer to let it go.
One-liner
What's a fart's favourite movie? Gone With the Wind.
One-liner
How does a high-class fart prefer to travel? First class, naturally.
One-liner
What do you call a fart released by an Englishman? British Gas.
One-liner
How much should a fart weigh? Zero — anything more and you've got bigger problems.
Dad
I was going to tell a fart joke… but it stinks.
Dad
What do you call a wizard who farts? A spell-caster of the worst kind.
Dad
I held in a fart at the bakery. Now I'm in a sticky bun-broiled situation.
Dad
My friend asked if my fart was silent. I said: no comment — it speaks for itself.
Kids
What did the bean say to his dad on Father's Day? You're the world's best farter!
Kids
What do you call a ghost's fart? A spirit bomb.
Knock-knock
Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? Ew — no thanks!
Knock-knock
Knock knock. Who's there? Hugh. Hugh who? Hugh-mphhh… excuse me.
Bean
Beans are the musical fruit — the more you eat, the more you toot in tune.
Bean
I had a bean burrito for confidence. Now everyone knows I'm here.
Office
HR said my desk had a 'hostile atmosphere.' I called it ambiance.
Sayings
He who smelt it, dealt it.
Sayings
He who denied it, supplied it.
Sayings
He who said the rhyme, did the crime.
Sayings
He who declared it, blared it.
Sayings
He who deduced it, produced it.
Sayings
He who spoke last, set off the blast.
Sayings
The smeller is the feller.
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